sans souci

so, being true to my addictive tendency to take things to the extreme (moderation is not my forte, friends), I decided to embark on a 5-day liver cleanse, recommended by my personal trainer.

this thing is no joke, people.  it’s conjured up by an “herb doctor,” dr. schulze. before i officially accepted the mission i had to get past a couple of unsettling things – 1 being the HUGE red flashing “WARNING” sign on the web site saying the following:

Warning: his knowledge and experience are not necessarily shared, nor have they been evaluated or approved by the F.D.A., the A.M.A., or any other 3-lettered federal, state, or local agency.

Upon entering this site, you hereby agree to take full responsibility for yourself, your health and release, indemnify and hold harmless, Dr. Richard Schulze, American Botanical Pharmacy, Natural Healing Publications, their employees and heirs. Many people have been unscrupulous and misused Dr.Schulze’s copyrighted material and images to mislead the public and sell them inferior products that havemade people sick and even die.

Ha. So I don’t consider the FDA to be a reigning source of wisdom, but I mean, that warning is at least enough to make you question this whole thing.

The 2nd thing I had to get past is that honestly, dr. schulze has a frightening grin on his face and seems a little kooked out.

Anyway I ultimately decided not to let these concerns abort my mission.

Yesterday was Day 1 of the cleanse and honestly, it was one of the biggest tests of willpower EVER. first off I had a work dinner at Dos Caminos, where I almost quit the cleanse and relapsed into foodville 3 or 4 times.  It’s really brutal drinking water at a high end mexican restaurant, especially when work is picking up the tab.

Later in the evening, I met a couple of friends who wanted to chat at a restaurant. I would have been fine just walking around and talking, but we decided to go to Zoe, where I’d never been before, and to my horror, the waiter brought us a free PIZZA on the house. not to mention the scallops and tuna tartar appetizers that my friends ordered.  I now know that if I can get through that on a cleanse, I can get through anything! Pizza & Mexican food are 2 of my favorites and I think it’s for a reason that they were put in my face, as a test. The world really is hilarious, if you think about it. Testing willpower is actually really fun.  I highly recommend it. It builds character, if you ask me.

So, onto the specifics of the cleanse. In the morning you have to make this ridiculous drink that contains the following:

8 oz fresh squeezed juice (i used orange) + the juice of 1 lime and 1 lemon (all organic!)

8oz water

garlic cloves (add 1 each day. so 1 clove day 1, 2 cloves day 2, etc, until you get to 5 cloves).

1 inch piece of fresh ginger (unpeeled)

organic extra virgin olive oil (1 tbsp day 1, 2 day 2, etc until you get to 5 tbsps)

Put it all in a blender and voila! You’ve got your liver flush drink for the day. At first I thought it was disgusting (SUCH a strong garlic taste), but today (day 2) I actually enjoyed it.

After you chug that drink you have to drink 2 cups of herbal tea (you let the herbs sit overnight in water) and add drops of dr. schulze’s detox potion stuff.

there’s also a superfood green drink you have to make in the blender and drink.

for the rest of the day you drink juice and tea, with drops of the detox formulas. It actually is a lot of work!

But it’s an adventure. And I like to get life experiences under my belt.  Right now I’m not feeling too hungry but I have a pounding headachce (maybe from not drinking caffiene).

 I’ll update again soon.